How much control do you have about the information of yourself in all those databases?
“Welcome to the Monster Mouse Amusement Park. We do hope you will enjoy your day and to ensure that your day is safe and enjoyable, we have prepared for your arrival with a personalized access ticket that will allow you to take only the rides that our lawyers feel are safe enough for you.
Our records show that you have fewer than 200 friend connections in facebook, and very few updates on your status in the past three months, which makes you a good candidate for depression, so we are keeping our eye on you.
The data we have received from that little device you let your car insurance company install in your car to record your driving habits, shows that you like to drive fast, really fast. So, we have compiled a list of rides that will satisfy your rally driving dreams without compromising the safety of your fellow drivers. In fact, your insurance company has given you a discount of 10% on our admission tickets for the rest of the season. Isn’t that wonderful and so generous of them? I guess they’d prefer you just drive our rides and not your car so much…
Your friendly neighborhood pharmacy and your health insurance company have alerted us of several medical conditions that plague you and your family members. Due to your migraine headaches and the history of your family with cardiovascular problems we have limited your ride selection to the ones that have proven to trigger the least amount of heart attacks and epileptic seizures. As a migraine patient we also advice you to avoid the “It’s a Microscopic World After All” concert performed by the Squeaking Mouse Choir.
For your dining choices we have compiled a list of restaurants based on our vast database of your purchasing habits from 5 (!) different supermarket chains. Due to your expensive habit of trying to buy organic food, we cannot offer you any meals at our restaurants “The Greasy Cluck” and the “High Fructose Corn Syrup Shack”. The only thing in their menu for you to eat is the ketchup.
We do recommend Baldi’s for your future grocery purchases, because your banking records show that your financial situation will be rather sad after this trip. To help you, we have added a list of part-time job openings at our organization for your convenience. Sadly, our profound data porridge has shown that your legs are too short for any our costumed positions, but we have an opening in our parking department that is just made for you. Your master’s degree will qualify you for waving your arms and wearing a neon yellow vest to guide the thousands of buses, minivans and SUVs that flock to our parking lots daily. You will be paid in amusement park credits and peanuts. Think about all the rides you can take!
According to your Gogaloo and Uhuu emails you haven’t been in contact with your mother enough to have a healthy, balanced mother-daughter relationship. The good new is, that since you are bringing your own children to the Monster Mouse Park, your chances of getting emails, chirps, txt msgs or just to be added as your child’s “friend” in facebook have increased by 0.5%.
If you would have read the hundreds of e-mails and offers your health club has sent, you would have received our 2% off coupon for the “Plastic Log Ride” and a free squirt gun. Your health insurance company surely has noticed that you haven’t visited your health club since March. This may increase your premiums in the near future. As a suggestion, to get you back into your exercise routine, we have included a free admission ticket to Lorna the Lemur Yoga session for the whole family. It looks like you are ready, since you are wearing your stretchy pants today! (Are those the only ones that fit right now?)
Have a wonderful day at our amusement park and don’t forget to smile for the cameras that are placed 2 Ft. apart throughout the park! You can get more tips about where to go next as our face recognition software will know who you are wherever you go! Enjoy and come soon again!”
Seriously. We really are the proverbial frogs in boiling water. Some people are foaming at the mouth about government control but the amount of data that these corporations have about people is staggering. There is no legislation in place to protect your privacy and no limits to what they can do to this "information". Yes, it's not actually all that accurate, and yes, you could be mixed to some other John Doe because of an error. And yes, the health insurance companies are already implementing policies to deem your premiums based on your behavior. Smoking is bad, how about eating fries,bacon and donuts, or a six pack of beer every night? Where is the line going to be drawn with that? And they are not going to take YOUR word for it. You'll be monitored, and that isn't very hard for them to do these days. Our privacy, our identities are in jeopardy. And for those afraid of government control: Although that shouldn't be your first concern, how much do you think it would really take for the government to actually get ahold of that information? How do you know they don't already have that?
Take a stand on your privacy. Contact your chosen politician and demand some action. Here is a short list of privacy advocacy groups:
